We know everyone’s probably had a number of experiences with escorts - some good, some bad, some embarrassing. But have you ever left a review? A good one, or a scathing one because it was less embarrassing than asking for your money back?
When we as humans are pissed off about something, we are more likely to report that negative experience, rather than write a good review. This can get awkward, and the thing you are reviewing is sex with a beautiful stranger.
That’s right, sex-workers get reviewed.
Here are some of the latest doozies because we believe – much like reviews for anything else in life – they often say a lot more about the writer than the subject.
Enjoy the bashing!
I guess the local cuisine has it’s perks. A side effect of Brexit no-one saw coming. Everyone has their own price, and it’s best to just respect it.
Ugh…she’s just in it for the money.
Well in her defense, all escorts collect before they even start. This is just for them to know what level of service she has to provide.
Ouch. She left you to the curb. I guess that last punter gave it to her good!
How dare she not answer her phone in the middle of sex!
Damn her! How could she not read his mind? To be fair, I was the same when I once asked for a Happy Meal, and the novelty toy wasn’t a wrap of amphetamines.
Yep. Parking. I guess that matters as well.
Ah, the logistics…
Lols for the turn-off of the century! Hope you got your money back, bud.
See number seven.
That’s right, I see you…no dick-washing, mister! I’m printing that on a t-shirt
Is it because, and I’m just spit-balling here, but is it because you use phrases like ‘extract services’?
Or is it because, and you can say no, but is it because you use phrases like ‘why do I even bother to fuck these whores?’
Not sure if you can tell but that makes you sound like a grade-A, super-rapey bellend.
Not an exact quote, but hey, something to work towards.
Unfortunately, you will get the odd posting where the woman in the pictures is not the one who answers the door. This is where any client can just say: ‘No thank you’.
However, in 99.9% of the reviews I found about this, they stayed, paid, and complained about it afterwards.
Hate to break it to you guys but as long as you keep paying, you’re providing a market for this kind of thing.
There’s an overall feeling that the only thing these boys are after is a sense of ‘value for money’, even down to having to pay an extra couple quid for parking!
Really seems like they hold back any kind of playfulness and sexiness just to make sure they can cram as many services into a set time while getting the satisfaction they want.
For the punters who do make it a hobby and jump from one to the next, I do feel a little sympathetic.
Rather than enjoying the time they have (seemingly begrudgingly) paid for, they’re using it more as a way to peacock.
That is, to go on a forum and show off what they managed to get for the rock bottom prices they’re willing to pay and then complain if they get anything less than they expected in their furtive imagination.
Not all reviews are false. Some can actually be useful – like when someone is running a bait and switch scam for instance.
But otherwise, I can’t help but think that if you can’t say anything nice, then you shouldn’t say anything at all. These women work hard for the kind of job they do. Seeing strangers one after the other can be intimidating - in addition to angry text messages.
And as for the level of service you expect – just remember, you get more bees with honey than you do with vinegar.